Yogurt

So, just out of curiosity, when you pick up a container of Yoplait and decide you don't want that particular one, do you just chuck it back at the shelf like it insulted your mother? Because that's what it looks like by the end of the day. How about a little less body slamming the yogurt and a little more put it back where you found it!?!?

STOP ASKING ME IF I'M OPEN!

Oh my GOD! Can't you see the fucking SIGN!??!? Honestly, do I really need to answer your question? Can't you see the fucking FLAG that says OPEN!??!? Why are all you people so fucking STUPID!?
Yeah, ok, so i've lost it a little. I usually try to keep composure in these sort of blogs, to offer stories and suggestions in a calm and collected manner, but this is getting ridiculous. Are you people honestly so goddamn dumb, that you can't figure out that i'm open when i'm STANDING at a LANE, WAITING!!
oh, and please stop coming into my lane and saying 'looks like you're waiting just for me!' OR "you need something to do."
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Hilarious. Because i haven't heard that 9000 times already today. You're so damn original.
Man i'm glad that i'm stock today.

Are You Open? (cont)

Why do you ask if i'm open if i'm standing there, flag up, staring at you? One of these days I swear, i'm going to say no. I'm going to say No and stare at you till you walk away.
Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

Are You Open?

Is my flag up?

The Principle of the thing...

So about a month or two ago, we stopped carrying plastic bags. Call it our contribution to saving the environment. We always used paper bags by default unless the customer specifically asked for plastic anyway, so it really wasn't too bad of a transition. We had quite a few really irritated customers, and probably lost some I'm sure, but after two months, I think it's time to let it go.
The only plastic we now have in the store are A. the flower bouquet bags, and B. small, thin bags like the ones you wrap meat and produce in. They are for, you guessed it, wrapping meat and loose produce.
So I had this guy come through my lane today with three large Styrofoam cartons from the deli. He said to me, "Put this in that plastic bag", and pointed to my little roll of meat bags. "I don't like your new policy."
So I replied, "Okay, but it's not going to fit very well."
And the gentleman replied, "Well I don't really care. It's the principle of the thing."

The principle of what? Ruining the environment? putting hot deli cartons in a very thin plastic bag so the plastic can melt and fuse with the Styrofoam? So I abide by his weird command and of course, as soon as I wrap it it immediately falls over because, like I said, the meat bags are thin and virtually useless. I hope he had something like chicken and mashed potatoes in one of those, because I guarantee it got everywhere.
JUST TAKE A PAPER BAG! GEEZE!

Receipts

I love when customers stand at the end of my lane after I check them out, staring at their receipt. It's like a personal challenge. As if watching each item get scanned, reading each description on the monitor, including price, and questioning every item I have to type in weren't enough to convince them that the order is indeed correct. So when a customer just stands there, reading each item on the receipt one by one, it is a triumphant victory for me when they, more often than not, sigh and walk away after a few painstaking minutes of scanning, as my eyes bore holes into his/her (usually her) skull.

Life Beyond Lane Six

There is life beyond lane Six. Beyond lane six, there are two, sometimes even THREE cashiers waiting to serve you. Beyond lane six, there are...other. lanes.
OMG.

The problem with lane six, is that it is the first lane you see when you get to the checkout. And therefore, like the bullseye of your vision. You aim for it, you shoot your cart at it even if there are four more. In the midst of this race to be the first to the lane, you miss the fact that lanes 5 and 4 are also perfectly open and...perfectly empty.

So there I stand, on lane six, being bombarded with groceries and impatient customers. Behind me, two women lean against their lanes, drool slipping down their chins, light snores coming from their mouths. And for some ridiculous reason that i still have yet to figure out, customers seem to get offended when I offer another lane so they don't have to wait behind the seven customers in mine. Here are two actual dialogs:
1...
Me: Ma'am, lane five is open right next door if you don't want to wait.
Customer (dazed, confused): But...you're almost done, right?
Me: -_-

and 2:
Me: Sir, lane five is open next door if you don't want to wait.
Customer (old crotch of a man): you just don't want to wait on me.
Me: heh, heh....(thinking...oh, you're not joking are you...) heh...
Customer: Do you like your job?
Me: (whats the answer whats the answer whats the answer) ...yes?
Customer: Well you sure don't act like it.
Me: .........

~*~

Which leads me to another point of interest. Never ask the person serving you if they like their job. Because chances are, they did up until you asked that.
Lane six. Hell.
I guarantee there will be more on this wretched place.