A Tribute to Ryan

Ryan is leaving me. RYAN IS LEAVING ME HERE ALONE IN THIS HELLHOLE!
He finally got a real job, a job where people actually probably WANT your help as opposed to want to treat you like a piece of poop. So Ryan is leaving me to move on to bigger and better things. Instead of throwing gallons of milk at him in protest, i think i'll leave a little...'best of Ryan' blog.

I remember when Ryan and I first started working on dairy together. It would take us ALL FRIGGIN DAY. Seriously, i'd leave at 4 and he'd still be trying to finish up the cooler. Now, a year and some-odd months later, it takes us like 3 hours. By noon, we're struggling to stretch it out to 1. Maybe now that our buddy Nick will be taking over the main dairy operations, it'll start taking a little longer. But i doubt it. I'll miss my buddy Ryan, and i'll especially miss all the stupid things he's done. A recap, for my own enjoyment.

* One time Ryan leaned on the pallet jack backwards and nearly face planted.

* Just the other week, he inhaled a piece of cardboard into his windpipe. Yeah, it was exactly as funny as it sounds.

* There was some outdated OJ in the cooler. And by some, i mean boxes and boxes and BOXES. We started stacking them all up on a three-tier to take to the garbage when our boss walked into the cooler. We froze. Boss was like, 'whats up with the oj?' and Ryan said, 'um, just rearranging in here.' and boss believed us. Somehow.

*I threw a block of cheese at his head


And for added fun, here are some quotes from Ryan, the genius.

"AAGGHH MY FACE!"

"Spartan's version of thick and creamy is probably something like thin and runny"

"I thought it was just like, 'phew', like you just ate a really good mango or something"

"It's always warmer in the cracks"

"There's friggin damn ass milk everywhere!"

"Ryan, We're in 7" -Me (to Ryan, regarding the month)

"IT'S DECEMBER!" -Me (to Ryan, regarding the month -again-)

"Have you ever seen a Ninja Turtle by itself? Not for me."

Me: How ambitious are you feeling for lunch?
Ryan: Well i'm not going to go hunt a turkey or anything.

~*~

So here's to Ryan, please don't come back to this place!